Smoke but no fire

If you've been unfortunate enough to catch the BBC2 "comedy" The Smoking Room, you'll understand what I mean by this heading. Here is a show whose only socially redeeming features seem to be depicting smokers as losers. Other than that, I suppose the fact that it's a mere 30 minutes a week of purgatory must count for something. And I mean purgatory. The Smoking Room is Sartre's Huis Clos but with fewer laughs.

I caught an episode last week, which appeared to revolve around the recitation of B-list vulgarities (such as 'beaver' and 'tits'), a few 'humourous' references to sexually transmitted diseases, and a particularly retarded security guard who seemed to bear a grudge against Ant and Dec. Well, what's so cutting edge about that? Doesn't everyone?

Most smokers I know are actually rather interesting people, but not until now did I realize, thanks to this programme, that they only function at their best in a country like Ireland, which frowns on their antisocial habit and treats them as pariahs. Smokers in my immediate circle are without exception nonconformists, with a sly, self-deprecating sense of humour and a willingness to think outside the box - and the office. I confess I enjoy their company, and it's fair to say that memories of nights out with them always linger (cue cheap smell joke).

Anyhoo, on the bright side, at least the show has given me a new slogan for BBC 3, which is apparently where this monstrous concoction originated:

BBC 3 - Home of the Easy Laugh.

You heard it here first.