The Dangerous World of Blogging

More paranoid and less rational analysts might see some sort of conspiracy in the ongoing 'accidents' befalling left-wing bloggers in recent months. Comrades Yulianov and Rooksby each recount incidents that hardly bear credibility in isolation (notwithstanding their ironic style of narrative), and when considered side by side would lead the most sceptical of parapolitical researchers (yes, Robin Ramsay) to conclude that there has to be a government agency intent on censorship by termination with extreme prejudice.

Now your intrepid blogger at C&S has raised the bar in his ongoing game of Knock and Run with death by allowing his inner organs to be exposed to daylight in the hope of demonstrating no hidden agenda. I'm happy to report that all that the surgeons were able to find on Tuesday morning were a bit more than two centimeters of appendix, where there should have been six, and some accompanying 'debris.' The significance of this was lost on me until the surgeon explained later that when I originally arrived in the hospital eight weeks or so ago with stomach pains, my appendix had indeed perforated but the layer of fat protecting my vital organs had surrounded and isolated the area so that no infection could spread. My dad now tells me his uncle died of exactly the same thing at the age of 16 (the only explanation I could get from the doctors to explain my condition was 'a build up of matter,' which could mean anything: weetabix, chewing gum, No. 3 buses etc.).

It turns out that never growing up did me a favour. All those years as a grown man playing footie and tennis kept my body fit enough to respond to this internal crisis. At least, this is what the surgeon told me, and i think that should be the lesson to draw from this: Never grow up.

It's been curious to observe the responses from people to my news. Anyone who has had appendicitis responds much in the same way as any man does to an account of someone else being kicked in the goolies - an automatic empathy that elicits at the very least a wince and a cringe. They recognize straight away the pain and dangers involved. By contrast, people who still have their appendixes simply say to me, "Appendicitis? Isn't that what ten-year-olds get?" To which I reply, "Yes. I play football and tennis and write a diary and kiss girls and run away. In what way do I not qualify?"

As you see, normal service is in process of being resumed.