Ah yes, that'll be the notorious Scottish Knife-Bevvy Culture

How seriously should we take The Scotsman?

Consider this story which reports that,

"SCOTLAND is in the grip of a deepening weapons culture, police warned yesterday, as new figures revealed an increase in the number of knives, baseball bats and other potentially lethal items being carried in almost every part of the country."

Other potentially lethal items? What could they be?

"The majority of serious assaults are now involving either belt buckles or bottles and ashtrays smuggled out of clubs."

Presumably glass ashtrays rather than crappy plastic ones, but isn't this trend indicative of a lack of other MORE lethal weapons, such as, I dunno, knives and baseball bats? The article explains,

"Officers are now reporting a surge in the use of "impromptu" weapons such as belt buckles and pint glasses in towns and cities, their use fuelled by alcohol, as well as a steady increase in the carrying of knives."

I like that. Use of pint glasses fuelled by alcohol. My use of pint glasses was always fuelled by alcohol. Well, motivated by the fact that they contained alcohol, anyway. Why not, erm, use plastic glasses?

I suppose because if they don't have pint glasses to hand, they'll resort to knives. After all,

"Scotland has to take a long hard look at the bevvy culture as well as the knife culture. The two go hand-in-hand, causing mayhem in many areas, particularly at weekends."

Hand in hand. That's right. Can't go out for a few nice pints and NOT take the old knife with me. Wouldn't be right, would it? It's tradition.

Reidski, Darren, help me out with this crap. Have we soft effeminate Sassenachs been missing something?