I bet they were really West Brits from D4

From the Irish Examiner (formerly the Cork Examiner)

"ON two consecutive weeks recently, letters claiming to have been written by visitors from England have appeared in your letters column.

Significantly, the pattern in each is almost identical. The visitors expected great things in a European Capital of Culture. They were disappointed in what they found in Cork and then went on to castigate the city.

The first pair came on the weekend of the choral festival. They dismissed that on the basis that it happens every year. Now the Cork choral festival is rated as one of the best in the world. This year’s festival reached even greater heights of perfection than in any previous year, filling halls, churches and other public spaces with glorious music.

They were furious to find the Glucksman Gallery closed on the Monday. They can hardly claim to be keen gallery-goers since most of the great ones the world over close on Mondays.

I can only conclude that the writer of that letter, in the immortal words of Samuel Beckett, “never gave a fart in his corduroys for any form of art whatsoever.”

The writer of the second letter did concede that the magnificent Airgeadóir exhibition at the Crawford was ‘nice.’

I was reminded of a time in the distant past when I coerced a young man to accompany me to a performance of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.

When I enquired at the end what he thought of it, he said he thought it was long.

I don’t think either of these two letters merits a serious reply, but I am greatly concerned that you would consider them worthy of publication."

Ald Mairín Quill
1 Wellesley Terrace
Wellington Road
Cork


Now, officially, my favourite Beckett quotation.