Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I AM Benjamin Zephaniah

Born in Brum, loves kung fu, supports the Villa, writes poetry, and according to the Daily Telegraph this weekend (My boss lent me his copy, before you ask), drives a Triumph TR7 convertible (Insert reference to midlife crisis here).

It seems I am ALSO Niall Quinn: Lanky geezer, smart as a whip, lives in Ireland, and enjoys sticking it to Roy Keane. Compare the Quinner:


"Then again, they did not have the benefit of the best preparation due not least to the farcical and self-serving intervention by Roy Keane. As far as I am aware, humiliating your colleagues in public is not the best way to foster team spirit. From his team-mates' point of view, do they really see that as a genuine attempt to get a positive reaction or was it a rant from someone supposedly so committed to United that he has let everybody know how much he loves the idea of a move to Celtic?"

with the Johnner:

"And I’m not surprised at such “dishonesty” within the United camp when team morale is undermined by Cork-born mardarses who don’t know the difference between constructive criticism and adolescent petulance."

I'm ALSO Victoria Beckham, but we won't go into that right now.

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