It's a Dog's Life

Behold Your Future Master

The July 14 issue of New York magazine explains why Leona Helmsley's dog, Trouble, is having to survive on $190 grand a year:

Trouble’s annual expenses fall into six (6) general categories: Guardian’s fees, security, grooming, veterinary care, food, and miscellaneous (there was also a one-time cost of transporting Trouble to Florida last September). Pursuant to the Guardianship Agreement, I receive a monthly stipend and the Guardian’s fees total $60,000 per year. Full-time private security for Trouble costs approximately $100,000per year. Grooming fees total approximately $8,000 per year. Veterinary care, based on costs incurred since September 2007 (when Trouble first entered my care), currently costs approximately $2,500 per year, but there will be increased costs of veterinary care associated with the worsening of Trouble’s kidney condition with age, and I estimate that such veterinary costs can be reasonably projected to reach a peak of approximately $18,000 per year. Food costs approximately $1,200 per year, and miscellaneous expenses cost approximately $3,000 per year. These estimated costs (totaling $190,200 per year, including veterinary costs at their peak) are more than sufficient to provide for Trouble’s maintenance and welfare at the highest standards of care, and no more money is needed to maintain that standard. Two million dollars, even if not invested (although I understand it will be invested to yield a reasonable return), would be enough money to pay for Trouble’s maintenance and welfare at the highest standards of care for more than ten years, which is more than twice her reasonably anticipated life expectancy, even taking into account the likelihood of worsening medical conditions, increased veterinary expenses, and any other contingencies.