Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Highlights from that Viz e-mail

It's doing the rounds of offices, I'm sure, and it's a cheap way of filling space.

Viz Editors' Letters:

Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British.

Ben Hunt

The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish they'd make their minds up.


The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I.

P. Boddington, Ringway

It really annoys me to see these suicide bombers blowing up people as well as themselves. In my day, suicide was done in a more dignified way, such as slicing your wrists in the bath, or hanging yourself from a door with a belt.

Paul Mulraney, Belfast

Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?

I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death. But I was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the famous Countdown "da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took his final breaths.


What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that.

Thomas J


Reidski said...

The letters page was always the best bit about Viz - except for Roger Mellie and Big Vern, of course. Still quality, in fact, if those letters are anything to go by!

Lorcy said...

my favorite top tips:

'don't open the door, it might be burglars'


'Rappers: avoid having to repeat the phrase 'know what I mean?'by articulating yourself correctly in the first place....

John said...

"Hang an empty cornflakes box from a piece of string in every doorway of your house, so that when you bump your head against it, it will remind you to shut the door behind you."

Reidski said...

"Salad lovers. A clever way to store lettuce, cabbage and the like is to individually punch holes in the leaves and place them in a ringbinder in the fridge. File cos under 'C', iceberg under 'I' and so on. Simple!"