Monday, June 12, 2006

Despatches from Catalunya #1: Anyone Here Like Football?

Major miscalculation of the year #1: Vacationing during the start of the World Cup in the rugby-playing region of France. Christ, what was I thinking?

I was watching the Poland-Ecuador match in the only bar in the village of Chalabre (if you can find it on any map, I´ll be impressed), in the company of assorted locals playing poker or swearing at the fruit machines; fine, I thought, if no one else is interested, it means I have the TV to myself. And what should happen except that at half-time the bastards switch channels to watch the under-21 world rugby championship match between France and Ireland, taking great delight in cheering every French point scored and miming zero signs in my direction: At least, I hope it was zero signs they were making.

Major miscalculation of the year #2: Using the noun "vacation" as a verb. Where the fuck is this, Cancun?

Major miscalculation of the year #3: Thinking I´d have enough time to drive from Chalabre back to Carcassonne in time for the England match. Left-hand drive means the gears on the right, fuckwit. I had a nice run around the town before finally locating a bar with the match, missing the first 20 minutes as a result. And could they be arsed scoring again for my benefit? What do you think?

Major miscalculation of the year #4: Assuming everyone in Catalunya below the Pyrenees loves footie. They´re not all Barca fans, and I had to scour the entire town of Vilanova i la Geltru before I could find a bar showing the Angola-Portugal match. There was nowhere, I repeat, NOWHERE, showing the Holland-Serbia match. Fuckers.

Uncalculated stroke of good fortune #1: A hotel in Vilanova right on the beach, with 50 different types of Scotch. And after I got back from the Angola-Portugal game last night, what did I find at the back of the hotel? A dedicated sports bar with a fuck-off 70-inch screen showing the footie. I´d have noticed it earlier, I´m sure, if I´d bothered to learn Catalan, the language everyone speaks here (Doh!).

So I´m off to watch Australia-Japan this minute. I hope you´re all in work. Salud


Martin said...

It's a miscalculation to book a holiday anywhere during World Cup Month

Jose said...

John, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your stay in Vilanova... and the 50 different types of Scotch, of course. I guess you didn't try them all, did you? ;-)

John said...

Not at 15 euros a glass!